Okay folks, this isn't funny anymore.

Yes, this is a writing blog but I do occasionally pause to, well, talk about the weather. And to reference the person who is best at defining the funny/not funny status of any situation (Dad), this week's 'cold snap' crossed that line at 2.35 this afternoon.

So, when I was stuck in, what in normal conditions would be an average pothole, I stopped being smug and got down the basic goal of survival. I managed to free myself of the chasm (how much does a new clutch for a Honda Prelude cost, I wonder?) only to be faced with the thought 'How am going to get up the hill into Parkwest?' Half an hour (that's how long it took to travel a quarter of a mile) of considering my options - Do I sleep in my car or battle the elements? Is it really okay to drink your own urine? How long before I resort to cannibalism? - I found myself.....well, at home, to be honest. So much for all that paranoia.

But that's it though, I am not leaving the warm and food-enhanced sanctuary of my apartment until the weather stops being so mean. I wonder how long I can make that half-pint of milk last.

Thanks for lunch Catherine, by the way.

Life's a Pitch...

That's the problem with blogging - at least with me - when there's loads going on and, therefore, loads to blog about, is when I don't have time to do it.

Well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. I've actually had some paid design work going on which has, admittedly, been taking up most of my time and concentration. But the last few weeks have also been somewhat eventful in my life as a trying-to-be-professional-writer. And, as so often is the case, with the good came the bad.

The 'bad' (let's get out the way first, shall we?) was that, heart-break of heart-breaks, the novel Burning Matches was rejected by the previously-eluded-to literary agent. To say that I had my hopes very much pinned to this possibility is an understatement and so I was...well, gutted .
Yes I know rejection is a part of any creative process blah blah blah but hey, it still hurts when it happens.

And now I'm going to stop talking about it now before I get depressed all over again.

And now the 'good' ...I finally gave myself a 'this-problem-isn't-going-to-fix-itself' talking-to and went and learned how to pitch. Pitching was the one area of my life as a writer in which I had little confidence. Don't get me wrong, I really have no issue with speaking in public. And, of course, I like to think that I know my projects fairly intimately at this stage....but bringing these two together to essentially be able to sell my writing (and essentially myself) to producers / commissioners / agents etc was, to be honest, evading me.

Until I met Sibylle Kurz. With over 20 years experience of being a pitcher, a 'pitchee' and now a tutor, she pretty much knows all the skills, tricks, psychology and pitfalls of standing up in front of a room full of frowning people and convincing them to believe in you, or at least, invest in you.

The 2-day course was very interactive - I had to stand up and pitch to the rest of the group my project (I went for my TV drama Square One). A somewhat terrifying experience, but the reaction I got from Sibylle and from the others was excellent. This, of course, led me to believe that my pitch was 'perfect', which needless to say, in my one-to-one with Sibylle afterwards, I found that it wasn't. But thankfully, she was able to guide me as to where I went wrong and what to do to fix it. Most importantly, I gained the confidence to now be able to face those frowning faces.

Good evening Dragons....

Sometimes it's okay to meet your hero.

Okay, I admit, I didn't realise that Tony Jordan was my hero before I attended his seminar at the London Screenwriters' Festival at the weekend, but I know now. Apart from creating one of favourite shows 'Hustle' (no Paddy, Hustle is not 'shit') as well as 'Life on Mars', he is completely pragmatic, funny, down-to-earth and hardworking. And, crucially, he realises how hard it is for new writers to break into the industry and acts on this realisation, running The Red Planet Prize for new writers through his production company Red Planet Productions.

Anyway, enough gushing. As I said, I was at the LSF at the weekend and it was fabulous (okay, maybe a bit more gushing). A brilliantly-organised and -executed three-day event in the picturesque setting of Regent's Park (Regent's College to be precise). As with all good conferences, there were so many events I wanted to attend that I had to make some sacrifices. But the seminars I did get to were excellent, loads of advice, insight into the various sides of the film and TV industries and, most importantly, encouragement to a) keep writing and b) be bold when it comes to trying to get work produced .

One excellent feature of the festival was the 'Scriptchat' events, at which the speakers at the seminars were available for a 'round-table' casual chat, which were nearly as informative as the seminars themselves.

I did have one scare when, attending the 'Getting an Agent and beyond' event, Katie Williams from Julian Friedmann's agency announced that they would really only consider representing writers located in the UK. Oh no! But, thankfully, at the 'scriptchat' later on, she did concede that this was for purely practical reasons (attending meetings at short notice etc.) and that Irish writers would definitely be considered. Phew!

Speaking of Irish writers, it was disappointing to see the lack of attendance from here (I only met one other Irish person all weekend and you know how we attract each other). Such an event is a crucial opportunity to meet fellow writers and industry professional and to do what all writers love to do...talk about writing! So many doors are slamming shut for us these days (depletion of funding etc.) that we need to take advantage of evvvvery opportunity that comes up.

Right, I'll get off my soapbox now. Damn, I should have put a handrail on this thing.

Sometimes 'Creative Differences' isn't a euphemism.

The entry for the Storyland competition was submitted to RTE yesterday after a very interesting few weeks of development. After abandoning the first concept (an okay idea but not at all suitable for this), we went with a parody of a dating show. The submission will now be considered by RTE and hopefully will be commissioned for the first 6-minute episode to be filmed in the new year.

However, I have decided that, due to significant creative differences between myself and the director, I will no longer be involved with the project.

I'd like to take this opportunity to wish Ann Marie and her cast and crew the best of luck with the competition.

Have Rich Teas got weaker?

I only ask because I pride myself in knowing the magic dunking time for most biscuits. But (and it's doing terrible things for my self-esteem), twice in as many days have I lost a signficant portion of a rich tea into my cup of hot brown. Granted these are the Spar own-brand variety as opposed to the Rich Tea standard that is McVities, but I assumed that, like computers, shampoo and cars, they're all pretty much made in the same factory anyway.

So the question is, have the universal Rich Tea manufacturer (lets call him God) changed the recipe so that the O.D.T. (Optimal Dunking Time) has been radically altered?

Or could the fact that thes ones I have are half-chocolate-covered and that's what's making the difference? Damn, that's a whole new calculation.

And to prove that I'm not the only one worrying about this life-changing issue...

Nothing wrong with a bit of healthy (Writing) Competition...

Yes, an actual opportunity to get your novel on the shelves (so now you've absolutely no excuse).

Poolbeg Press are running a competition with the TV3 Morning Show, the prize being a 1-book publishing deal. They are looking for fiction or non-fiction books and full manuscripts must be submitted with, yes, you guessed it...a Synopsis.

Those of you who have been following my fledging career will know that the synopsis is the one aspect of writing I have struggled with since forever. The synopsis for Burning Matches has been re-written a few dozen times over the last two years and was scrapped-and-restarted at least twice in that time.

The most recent one, I will admit, is good...it would want to be, it was recently submitted to a literary agent but, it being me, I'm looking at it now and saying 'That could sooooo be better'.

Aaaanyway, back to the competition, you can find all the details on The Morning Show's website and you can watch the interview with Poolbeg Press's Paula Campbell (about 25 minutes into the show).
The deadline for submission is 17 December so if you have even the slimmest chance of getting a novel (and synopsis) finished in the next few months, this should be the push you need to really get cracking! Opportunities like this come up so rarely, especially these days when the publishers are taking on fewer new writers than ever.

3 months and 4 days to deadline...get writing!

P.S. Thanks to my fabulous friend Y-And-Bump for bringing this to my attention.

CV or not CV, that is the question.

Yes indeed, another procrastination conquered.

I finally wrote my writing CV and, surprise surprise, it doesn't look that bad. I had this terrible fear that it would be half a page of sparce commentary and would include mentions of essays that I wrote in Sixth-Year English.
But it is, in fact, two pages (yes, two WHOLE pages, my dears...well they might be double-spaced) and it includes...well, the usual stuff you see on a CV - experience, achievements (there have been some), on-going projects and even an academic accolade or two.

Right, I must give it another re-read now to see if any of it is actually...yeh know...true.